i told you so.

You know the old saying “I told you so,” well, I have worn it out. I told you so the problems would get resolved. I told you so many times exactly what to do. I told you, so please listen. I told you so you didn’t fail. I told you so you could learn. I told you so you could help others. I told you so you didn’t have to worry. I told you so I wouldn’t have to tell you “I told you so.” When certain situations keep reoccuring and there is nothing you can do to fix it, it can drive you mad. Watching people struggle sets me into “fix it” mode. It is just who I am. “If there’s a problem, yo, I’ll solve it!” -Vanilla Ice So imgaine you get the oppurtunity to organize/structure something and it begins to flow into the masterpiece you envisioned. The workload is divided to provide a constant distribution. Changes are made to keep all areas secure. Any sparks that ignite can be put out right away and prevention methods can be enforced to stay afloat. Motivation is up, production is top notch and no preventable fires are let loose. But then… Life happens and you step away. Someone else takes over and everything flowing properly dissolves back to nothing. YOU dissolve back to nothing. Nothing, but, knowing. Knowing all the answers, but forced into ignorance. The evil! The agony! The strength to hold it in! There is nothing else you can you do. You must observe what was once special and rare, transform into just another thing, place…. The hope you never thought you would have, is gone. Misery. Lack of motivation sets in all over. Not long after, a spark flashes and spreads like wildfire…. That fire catches onto unlikely things and sparks a flame that ignites the unknown. Panic takes over as the fire spreads and spreads with no solution in sight. If there is no water nearby, then how would you put this fire out? There are no other solutions! Panic, panic, more panic, until the exhaustion hits you right in the face. You start to get angry, frustrated, more tired…then shut down. The fire continues to burn but no one cares anymore because there is no water, no help, no solution in sight. Some redirections slow the inevitable but they all know it’s crumbling down. Still they wonder why? “Why are we exhausted with efforts and have no results to show? The fire still burns, but why?” The fingers start to point, names spit around….”HELP! We need more help!!” More help is sent, but still the fire burns. With no plan for the extra help, it leaves more people in panic, more people left to burn. So they decide to ban together and work on one area that is falling apart. All their energy builds a mass of one thing that sercures the area. Then they turn around with relief and satisfaction just to see the other side has become engulfed in flames! A few people collapse with exhaustion, some run away… “How could this be, some say?” The few that are left now hurry over to start rebuilding the newly burning area. “It never ends, one says.” “How will we ever keep up now?” “There is more work to do to stop this than before! We have more help, but we must need more to stop these from spreading!” This time no more help is sent. There is no more help to come. So it continues to burn, slower now, but weakening. I have to observe this from inside. Some things need to burn to be rebuilt. It eats at me day after day. I told them so many times what to do. I told them so they could survive. Why did they stop it? Can’t they see there were no fires before? It is starting to get out of control and people who can stop it just won’t, or can’t for some reason. Anger sets in for me, but keeping cool is a must. Too many fires going on to let another loose. I just have to watch. Watch it burn. I told you so you could put the fire out, if it happened. I told you so this never happens! I told you so the flow keeps flowing. I told you so everyone had a task. I told you so exhaustion went away. I told you, so, many, times, how to stay afloat. I told you, so now I can’t help you anymore. -krz