random rants

It has been over a year now since I quit my 9-5 and I am still bitter...but better. I miss the money, I miss the stability, I miss being proud of what I did for a living. I am back to being afraid of that inevitable question..."What do you do for a living?" So I hide in social settings again, avoid eye contact so people don't ask me that. I am constantly looking for a way out of being near people. I can't listen when people are talking to me because I just think about what I

My only explanation for anything happening in the US right now is a result of pedophiles and brainwashing. Trump is literally keeping his name "clean" while blackmailing powerful people to gain more power & money. From brainwashing his followers, to trying to take over his own government, to protecting billionaires & pedophiles, to now starting wars... any other person would have been impeached & removed years ago. The immorality, inhumane decisions & lies that have taken o

I have been door dashing to bring in money so I don’t have to work with people. I honestly think about what others think of my choices, and fuck them, I now know I can literally do anything, yet in the end I burn out and get bored. I find issues and get the hell […]

Tell me about the incompetence in the food industry today. OK, I will just tell you. I door dash currently while I’m dealing with my healing process, so I am always out and about. Starbucks and Burger King are literally the worst place to come to. The workers will literally stand there until you ask […]

I have realized that whenever I have a breakdown aka meltdown I come out of it with a new hairstyle. I have had short hair since I was 18,

I love writing I just can never get to starting. My mission today is to set a routine for myself to write and design, Wednesdays & Thursdays. Monday when I can. This way I am not feeling overwhelmed leading to just shutting down and hiding in my house for a week. blah. …already distracted… Back […]

One of the counselors I went to briefly asked me, “In your perfect world, what would make you completely happy?” Of course I panicked and

4 people are here, including myself. It is so overwhelming. Everyone talks at once, 3 people talking usually about something different, and then ask me a question in the middle of it and I literally don’t even know what conversation to listen or focus on, let alone answer any questions or continue any conversation. Then […]

You know the people that constantly have to make conversation? They will literally randomly tell me a story about some guy from 20 years ago just because the room is quiet. It drives me insane! It’s quiet! Shut up! It’s like this nervous twitch. Making noise makes them comfortable, but me extremely uncomfortable. I’m 100% […]

I’m hitting burn out bad. I can’t even write this because things are needed of me. I can’t fucking breathe anymore. Oh, it’s a bad day. Oh..

You know the old saying “I told you so,” well, I have worn it out. I told you so the problems would get resolved. I told you so many times..

i am currently sitting in a “bunker” with my son and dog. The smell inside here isn’t great.