Nightmares

They haunt me all day long, sometimes for days at a time, with reoccuring flashblacks that happen months and years later. The vivid dreams I have always had I figured it was just who I was, somewhat of a gift. I can see colors, smell surroundings, feel everything...it is quite extraordinary. I am now 41 years old, possibly going through a premenopause, not sure, but these nightmares now are different. I wake up everyday in a puddle of sweat. Ice cold to the bones, stinking the room up.

Lately, and you can laugh, they have involved a horror slasher of some kind. Last night it was Jason Voorhees from the Friday the 13th movies. The night before it happened to be Michael Myers terrorizing me in my home. The reality of these dreams make them so scary. Why do I dream of being stalked, chased and attempted to be murderd night & night again? Seems extremely disturbing. I will add it to my therpay topics, but for now what the actual fuck, man. UGHHHH.

As far back as I can remember there was this nightmare at an amusement park or just a water park, not sure. The obstacle course was giantic and unsafe, adding to the drama in the dream. I had to try and make it through this course, all types of things to cross over. The water would become ocean-like, turn into hurricanes, leaving me fighting for my life over & over again. My entire life this dream kept reoccuring. I don't have it anymore, thankfully.

Back to my night sweats and terrors....could all of this just stem from trauma I never healed from? I have read articles about giving birth, becoming a mother and childhood trauma resurfacing in full force. I can't say I was abused as bad as a lot of people, but it is still my trauma. My facts, life. I was also put on some intense hormones to become pregnant, all of that could also be playing a role? Hormones can kiss our female asses!!!!!

.......... but, really, the night sweats and terrors are fucking real, yo. TOO FUCKING REAL!

-krz